


my heart is a battle ground

by estivaate



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, Multi, Other, i cant even say im sorry at all, kingdom hearts!au, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:42:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estivaate/pseuds/estivaate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin decides, at a young age, that he is going to go on an adventure. </p>
<p>He just didn't quite imagine it like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my heart is a battle ground

“One day, I am going to go on an adventure!”

He is met with laughter from Yixing and a derisive snort from Baekhyun, both boys choosing to continue building their sandcastle than pay too much attention to Jongin and his crazy dreams.

Yixing indulges him a bit, though. “Mmm, and where are you going to go on this adventure?”

Jongin pauses, sun kissed face that still bore the round edges of childhood scrunching as he thought about it. Where would he go? They already knew the whole island, and the near by ones, where else was there?

After a moment of thinking, in which Baekhyun and Yixing had turned their attention back to their sandcastle, Jongin figured it out and gave a shout of triumph.

Baekhyun cursed him (“Stupidhead! Look what you made me do!”) as the noise startled him, causing half the castle to crumble beneath his hand. But, hey, it got their attention.

“You can rebuild the thing in a minute, I figured out where I am going on my adventure!” He beamed at his two friends and waited for them to question him. Baekhyun, seeing that there was no way he could finish his masterpiece in peace, rolled his eyes and finally gave in.

“And where is that.”

Jongin waited a moment (for dramatic effect) before speaking in a somewhat conspiratorial tone. “Another world.”

He waited for the awed praises, but those never came. Instead, Yixing just smiled and patted his head while Baekhyun outright laughed at him.

“Another world? And what makes you think that there is another world to go to? And how, mister adventurer, are you going to get there?”

There’s a pout on his lips that had Yixing coming to his defence without much thought. “Well, he can transport himself, so maybe he could go to other worlds that way?”

“…yeah! That’s how!” The look on Baekhyun’s face let it be known just what he thinks about that idea.

“Whatever, I won’t bring you back anything fun when I go then.”

The smaller boy waved him off, attention back on the wet sand before him. “I don’t care, now you should help me fix this since it’s your fault it broke in the first place.”

Jongin huffed and stomped over, squeezing himself between the other two with an ease and familiarity that speaks of him doing it for ages.

Yixing leaned in a bit, bare shoulder pressing against Jongin’s. “Well, I think you could do it. But I would like it if you didn’t go for very long.” He pauses, fingers stilling in the wet sand as the quietest of the trio thinks. “Actually, I would like it if you didn’t go without me.”

That makes Jongin laugh, loud and boisterous, as he wrapped an arm around Yixing (and a very reluctant Baekhyun) and pulled them close. “Ha! Like I would go on my adventure without you guys. I will practice really hard so that I can bring you both with me!”

He grinned, all bright hope and childish dreams, and planned their future adventure with his hands buried in sand.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

It isn’t always easy, being around Yixing and Baekhyun. They were both-- well then were both _bright_ (Baekhyun literally as well as figuratively, what with the whole light thing) and even when Baekhyun was in a mood, he was still so much more than Jongin.

At least that was what Jongin thought. 

He often found himself at a loss, growing up with the two of them, not because the left him behind but precisely because they _didn’t_. It wasn’t a secret that most people on the island regard Jongin with something akin to suspicion (a place so cheerful and bright all the time had to have it’s dark sides, didn’t it?). He appeared out of no where, literally, when he was three years old; a wide eyed boy trailing tendrils of smoke behind him with a smile that was rivalled only by his temper.

While people were confused, they were also too kind to leave such a child to the fates, so he was taken in and cared for by Luhan and the rainbow haired Sehun. They never once thought to treat him as anything other than precious (he was lucky like that, except for when they fought, then there would be windstorms in the house and clothes in the air, but he always found it funny as a child).

Most of the kids were friendly but-- they never really let Jongin _in_. He had friends to play with, but never any parties to go to, or sand castles to build on the beach until--

_“Here, my mom gave me too many and you look sad.”_

_Jongin blinked and looked up, past the proffered cupcake, to the boy with reddish hair and something that was almost a scowl on his face._

_“Huh?”_

_The boy huffed and dropped the cupcake on the table in front of Jongin and put his hands on his hips. “You look sad, cupcakes make that better, right Yixing?”_

_Jongin’s attention was brought to another boy who was standing just behind (Yixing, Jongin would remember that) with a serene smile on his face and a mop of shiny brown hair on his head. When he smiled, Jongin was just a little bit mesmerized by the dimples that appeared._

_“Yup. It’s the icing.”_

_The solemn nod that he gave made Jongin laugh and he didn’t see the shared smile between the other two._

_“I’m Baekhyun, this is Yixing. Wanna come to the beach with us after school?”_

_“I’m Jongin, and yeah.” He smiled until he thought his face would split. “Yeah, I’d like that.”_

They started out as Baekhyun and Yixing with an occasional Jongin, but over time it became Those Three. They spent their afternoons at the beach (or at Baekhyun’s house, because his mother liked to feed them sugar) or in the treefort that they made, hidden in the rocky hillside in the cove. And no matter how angry Jongin got, or different he seemed to be, Yixing and Baekhyun were always there for him.

Eventually, Jongin forgot that he was ever without them, but he never forgot how he was just a little bit-- off.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

“Hey look!”

Yixing turns around, pen in his mouth still with his homework splayed around him. He turns just in time to see wisps of black smoke floating off from where Jongin and Baekhyun had been sprawled on the floor moments before.

The loud thump that reaches his ears as he smoke vanishes has Yixing sighing and getting up, moving towards the noise (which, unsurprisingly, was coming from the closet).

When he opens the door, Jongin and a sputtering Baekhyun tumble out.

“Hey! Idiot, that-- at least warn me before you do that!”

Jongin just laughs as Baekhyun hits him, not at all hard because he was too busy trying to fix his now ruined hair.

Yixing laughs before offering a hand up to them both. “You know Jongin, just because you can take one of us along, doesn’t mean you should.” He stops at the hurt look that flits across his friends face. “At least, not until you are better at landing where you want to. I don’t think your parents are going to like it if you and Baekhyun appear on the roof again.”

There is a sheepish grin that crawls across Jongin’s face at that. He was getting better, trying to keep his promise of taking them both along with him when he went on his adventure (it had been years since that day at the beach, but he never forgot his promise) but there were still some issues.

“That was one time and-- I haven’t done it since! I was aiming for the hallway, so I got close!”

The look on Jongin’s face, coupled with the snort of laughter from Baekhyun has Yixing smiling again before he is pulling his friends back to the sprawl of papers and pens and apparently a comic or two, across the room.

“Yeah, once too many. Now come on, this is the last assignment before summer, we just need to get it done.”

“You think you guys will still want to go, once we’re done high school and all?”

Yixing and Baekhyun stop in their walking to raise an eyebrow at Jongin. Every once in a while, Jongin reminds them of the lonely boy that always sat alone at lunch; a little bit insecure and a little bit reserved.

They share a look before they plaster themselves to Jongin’s sides, arms around his shoulders in a way that was completely natural. Jongin brightens easily.

“Of course, stupidhead. We aren’t letting you go off on your own without us.”

“Hey-!”

Baekhyun laughs at the light pinch to his arm before Yixing pulls them down to sprawl across the bed, head tucked under Jongin’s arm while Baekhyun curls around Jongin’s head.

“Exactly. You will probably get hurt, since you always do, so I need to be there to fix you at least.”

Jongin looks down at Yixing and wonders if he should be offended by that remark, but Yixing sees the look and smiles. Jongin swears his heart stutters.

“Y-Yeah.”

They end up falling asleep, limbs tangled together like a Gordian knot, but they can’t really be upset about the lack of homework that is finished, not even Yixing.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

It feels like a solid hit to his sternum, pushing all the air from his lungs and letting bile claw its way up his throat. It only takes another breath and a shaky step before Jongin falls to his knees and empties his lunch on the strangely hard and smooth ground beneath him. Tears sting his eyes and his body is screaming at him, but he gives a shaky smile nonetheless.

He did it. He finally managed to transport himself off world. He can _feel_ it, this place resonated differently in his bones. He had been trying for months to do it, ever since he mastered being able to drag his friends along for longer and longer transportations.

Now he could finally—

“Well, isn’t this interesting.”

Jongin blinks at the ground before he looks up, eyes glancing around the darkness to find the source of the voice.

He doesn’t see anything.

At least, he doesn’t think he sees anything. The darkness around him, however, seems to be shifting and that— well it’s creepy and makes him wonder if maybe he shouldn’t have tried to leave the island in the first place.

“…um. Hello?”

Jongin expects his voice to echo, the place around him seemingly empty, and yet— he feels like he suffocating in the darkness. Like the shadows around him were pushing closer and closer—

“You do realize I am going to make you clean that up, right?”

The voice is closer this time, laced with amusement and something that sends a chill down Jongin’s spine. He doesn’t like the sound of that voice, or the intent that seems to be lurking just beneath the surface.

“Who— Where am I?”

Sitting himself up, Jongin struggles against the fatigue in his bones and the darkness weighing him down and looks around again. His eyes catch on a pair of legs that are almost right next to him. He nearly falls over again in his hurry to move away.

Apparently, whomever the voice belonged to found that entertaining because he soon has laughter echoing in his ears. He almost doesn’t hear it over the sound of himself retching again, the stone cold fear not mixing well with everything else.

“Tisk tisk, again? You might be here awhile if this keeps up.” A cold, pale finger curls beneath his chin and Jongin feels his head being jerked up. The change leaves him dizzy and looking up into the eyes of— well, a boy. At least, Jongin thinks he could still be a boy, not much older than himself, shrouded in darkness and swirling shadows, with a cold smirk on his face.

“Hmm, well you’re nothing special, but you must have some power if you managed to make it here.” The fingers turn hard, gripping his chin and turning his face. The boy sighs before removing his hand, only to wind his long fingers into Jongin’s hair and pull him, painfully, to his feet.

It’s a small miracle that Jongin manages to keep himself from throwing up again.

“You are going to be quite useful, child. Quite useful.”

Summoning what was left of his strength, Jongin manages to transport himself again, away from the cruel eyes and cold smile. But not far enough.

He crashes to the floor again, chest heaving.

“Oh, well that makes it even better.”

Jongin sucks in a breath when he suddenly finds himself face to face with the boy again, but this time the boy seemed to be actually smiling.

“So, precious, while you are stuck here, why don’t we get to know each other.” He flashes a sharp smile that does nothing to calm the sickness still roiling in Jongin. “My name’s Taemin, and you are?”

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

He is gone for three days.

Apparently.

Jongin is sure that it was more time than that, but Yixing and Baekhyun assure him that it was only three.

Thankfully, they are the only two that know he was gone. It’s the middle of summer, his parents are off visiting friends on another island and he has been staying at home alone. He comes back to a fridge full of soup (“I told my mom you were sick”) and anxious looks (Yixing doesn’t ask where he got the bruises and cuts from as he heals them, just gives Jongin this look that makes his insides twist painfully).

When he gets back, nothing has changed. At least, not on the island. Jongin knows that there is something changed in him, you can’t spend any amount of time in _that_ place with _him_ and not be at least a little bit different. Shadows seem longer and Jongin can swear he hears Taemin in his sleep (when he does sleep, that is hard to do too).

It isn’t until about a week after he gets home that he notices the first crack.

“What’s that?”

Yixing hums and looks up from the book he was reading, trying to figure out what Jongin was talking about. He figures it out, following Jongin’s pointed finger, to a stretch of rock on the hill that seems-- different. He shifts and sits up, chin on Jongin’s shoulder. He had taken to wrapping himself around Jongin now every chance he got, as if he was afraid Jongin would disappear again.

“I don’t know. Looks like-- a mirage? Yeah, like the rocks are too hot or something.” He shrugs before shifting and wrapping around Jongin, settling his book in Jongin’s lap along with his torso. But Jongin is still distracted. There was something about the crack that worried him, that reminded him of--

“I’m going to look.”

Yixing huffs and rolls off him, nose back in his book, as Jongin vanishes in a puff of smoke, mumbling about warning times.

Jongin appears next to the crack and freezes. 

There are shadows leaking from the distortion, curls and tendrils of the dark shadows that he remembers too well sliding through and wrapping around the plants and grass at the base of the crack. It was a crack, Jongin could tell that much, and though he couldn’t see to the other side, he had a fairly good idea of what was there. 

What’s even more terrifying is that the shadows seek him out, swirl around his fingertips and ankles and they fill him with an odd sense of calm. Jongin doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to remember halls that suffocate with darkness and smooth floors that don’t make a noise. 

He appears next to Yixing seconds later, telling him they have to go, that they should go home and make dinner for Baekhyun when he was done with his vocal lessons, anything to get them away from the crack in the rocks.

Yixing doesn’t question it, but he does notice the fear in Jongin’s eyes and, not for the first time in recent weeks, laces his fingers with Jongin’s on the way home.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

Over the next few weeks, Jongin notices more and more cracks. Notices more shadows leaking through, swirling at his feet. And other people have started to notice too.

“My mom said another one appeared next to Minseok’s coffee shop...” Baekhyun trailed off and Jongin doesn’t miss the anxious way he toys with the string of his hoodie. “They’re getting bigger.”

It’s hard to swallow around the lump in his throat, but somehow Jongin manages it.

“Bigger?”

“Yeah, apparently--”, he stops, eye flitting between Jongin and Yixing, who was sitting silently on the floor. 

The lump in Jongin’s throat gets bigger.

“Jongin, things have started disappearing in them. Things have--” The redhead stops, twists his fingers in the strings and looks to Yixing.

“Things have been coming out of them at night. Shadows. Shadows with claws and teeth that don’t seem to be afraid of things, not even Baekyun’s light. Things--”

“Wait, you went out at night near those things without me?”

His temper flares, fuelled by the guilt that has settled into his bones. He can’t believe that they would do something so-- so stupid. And he tells them as much, fury filling him up until he thinks he might combust, and soaking his words.

“Why would you do something so stupid? I told you to stay away from them, why didn’t you listen to me? My god, you two are both-- you’re idiots! What if something happened to you? What then, you know you can’t get away from them or--”

“Jongin.”

It’s Yixing’s calm voice, and his hand on his arm that stops him, has him choking on his words.

Yixing gives him a small smile and brushes away an angry tear before tugging Jongin back to sitting down. He didn’t realize he had stood up.

“We’re both fine, and we didn’t bring you because you were actually sleeping for once, idiot.” Baekhyun looks a little pale, a little shaken by everything, but he has a point.

They are fine (this time) so Jongin doesn’t have a reason to be so angry. But he is, because he knows this is his fault (he is sure of it) and he doesn’t know what he would do if he lost Yixing and Baekhyun to one of his own stupid mistakes. So he takes a shaky breath and closes his eyes, wills the anger down.

“Yeah. Okay. Just... don’t do it again, okay? Especially if there are things coming out like you said.”

They both promise not to do anything without him again, and Jongin trusts them to hold to that. 

They don’t tell him about the shadows that swirl at his fingertips when he gets angry, or the darkness that seems to swarm around him when he falls asleep, curled between them, on the couch that night.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

“Jongin! Are you— Jongin!”

The sound of Baekhyun’s footsteps is just barely heard over the sound of the crashing waves and the distant sound of their world falling apart.

The redhead is wide-eyed and Jongin can tell that he is trying to keep the panic from rising, but it’s there too as Baekhyun looks at his long time friend standing amidst the swarming shadows that were racing forth from the crack in the horizon without hesitation now, even though it should be midday.

“Jongin wh— why are you—“

Jongin sighs and looks away, eyes catching on the swirls of black and grey in the once perfect blue waters. “I have to fix it, Baek. I have t—“

“Jongin!”

It’s the fear in that voice that gives him pause, more than the panic in Baekhyun’s eyes or the destruction around him. Against his better thoughts, Jongin looks up to see Yixing running towards them, ash smeared on his arms and fatigue in the lines of his face. He was probably helping out in town, trying to heal those that he could before moving others to safety. He was always doing things for other people, Yixing.

Always cleaning up the messes that Jongin made.

Swallowing down the guilt, Jongin steps back, lets the shadows swirl around him, lets them climb up his legs and wind around his waist and tries not to focus on the way Yixing stops and stares with something like confusion in his eyes.

“I have to fix it, Yixing. Baek. I just—“

“We can help, I can he—“

“No. I have to— This is my fault okay. Just— take care of Baek okay?” He looks up then, Baekhyun and Yixing almost at the edge of the swirling darkness that he was backing into.

“Hey! I can take care of myself, idiot. Now get— Jongin!”

But he ignores them, gives the island he had spent his life on one last look before letting the shadows take him away.

Baekhyun’s and Yixing’s screams of his name follow him into the darkness.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

The world he wakes up in isn’t his own.

It also isn’t that in-between world of darkness and shadows that he was hoping for. Instead, Jongin wakes up wrapped in a thick blanket in a room that seems to be made of ice and snow and a grinning face leaning over his.

He can’t be held responsible for the noise of terror that he makes, nor can he be held accountable for the flailing that follows the noise. Or the bruised face that is a result of said flailing.

“Ow! I think--” The grinning face falters, nose scrunching and un-scrunching to test for broken bones. When nothing seems broken (and nothing is bleeding) he goes right back to grinning at Jongin. “Nope, not broken. We’re good. That’s one hell of a welcome though.”

With his heart still beating erratically in his chest, Jongin edges himself away from the smile (it wasn’t calm or serene like Yixing, it was bursting with energy) and looks about the room. It’s then he realizes that Mr. Smiles isn’t alone, and his companion is nothing like him if looks were to be taken into consideration. The other man’s face seems to be set into a scowl, and it’s directed right at--

“Yifan! Stop that, you’re going to scare him. Yesh.”

Yifan rolls his eyes and uncrosses his arms (it’s then that Jongin notices that, despite the frigid temperature and snow all around, both Yifan and his companion are shirtless, chests and arms covered in intricate dark red designs) and snorts. “Because waking up to your grinning face was so soothing.”

Jongin expects the grin to falter, for there to be some kind of response, but there is just boisterous laughter and a punch that Yifan seemed to be expecting before the attention is turned back to him. Jongin tries to disappear into the blankets (has half a mind to teleport out of there, but his bones ache and there’s bile in his throat still) but it doesn’t work and he still has two sets of eyes peering at him curiously. Well, one set curiously, the other--

“Don’t mind him, he’s actually super nice. Sometimes.” There’s a snort that the smiling man ignores. “I’m Chanyeol, that’s Yifan, and you are?”

It takes a moment, a blink or two, before Jongin realizes that he is supposed to say something right now, introduce himself or something. He opens his mouth, tongue dry and tries for civility.

“I’m... Kai.”

The hesitation makes one of Yifan’s eyebrows go up, but neither of them question it. Jongin isn’t quite sure why he lied, chose the name that _he_ gave him, but it’s too late now.

“Well, Kai, welcome to our humble abode. Well, the humble guest house part of the abode, no offense, we really didn’t want to bring a stranger that we found in the snow into our actual home during these times, especially with the swi--”

Yifan clamps a hand over Chanyeol’s mouth quickly and Jongin is left wondering what the hell he was going on about. “You never shut up. Don’t overwhelm him.” He narrows his eyes at Chanyeol before turning his attention back to Jongin. “Welcome, Kai. I take it your world had issues with the shadows as well?”

The bile creeps a little higher in his throat at that, the memories of the past few weeks rushing into focus. He scrambles out of the blankets and into the corner of the room before he retches, stomach apparently empty already. It doesn’t make him feel better. When he turns around Chanyeol looks concerned and Jongin can’t help but remember the look on Yixing’s face when he left.

“You do that a lot, y’know. You woke up for like thirty seconds after we found you to throw up. Not good with travelling?”

Jongin blinks but manages to huff, the good humor hard to ignore even with the events pressing down on him. “Yeah, something like that.”

Chanyeol somehow manages to get closer and claps Jongin on the back, the warmth from his hand burning through the thin black shirt Jongin had on and making him shiver.

“That’s okay, with the state of things now, you just have to slide through the right hallway to end up somewhere else.” 

The way that Chanyeol says it makes it sound _fun_ , interesting and normal, but Jongin can see the look in his eyes, as well as Yifan’s, that has him raising an eyebrow of his own.

“What-- what do you mean?”

Yifan stands up and moves towards the door of the ice cave (igloo, Jongin thinks, he learned about these once) and peers out past the curtain of fur covering the opening. “The shadows and the rips in places. People have started calling the rips Hallways, they all seem to lead somewhere else, another world that you wouldn’t be able to get to otherwise.”

The sick feeling comes back tenfold, but Jongin keeps his mouth shut and waits for Yifan to continue.

“Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but-- well the shadows seem to be travelling along them too. And the shadows, well I am sure you know, they aren’t normal shadows. They seem to consume everything, only certain weapons seem to work against them, and powers.” He casts a glance to Chanyeol who was looking startlingly serious. “And some worlds apparently aren’t surviving the Hallways showing up, they collapse like a house of cards with no base. You aren’t the first person to land in the snow here.”

_Some worlds apparently aren’t surviving the Hallways_. Jongin nearly passes out right then, the thought of Yixing and Baekhyun and his _home_ vanishing into the darkness something that he didn’t want to think about. It was still standing when he left, it was chaotic and overrun with shadows but--

“You okay there, Kai? You look a little pale...”

Waving off Chanyeol’s hand, Jongin stands up, shivering slightly. He wasn’t entirely sure how the hell Yifan and Chanyeol were shirtless in this weather. “Y-yeah, fine. I just-- I need to get somewhere that’s all.”

When his teeth start clattering, Yifan drapes the heavy blanket around him again and Chanyeol lights a fire. With a click of his fingers.

Suddenly, the lack of clothes make sense.

Chanyeol grins at the look on Jongin’s face. “Useful power to have in this place, eh? And this guy over here is a d--”

“Chanyeol.” The tone makes Chanyeol stop and look just a little bit sheepish. “You know better than to be telling random people about that.”

Though his curiosity is piqued, Jongin says nothing and just pulls the blanket tighter as he moves towards the flames.

“You said-- You said something about weapons being used against the shadows?”

The two share a look before turning their attention back to the boy wrapped up in the blanket.

“Yeah. Certain kinds of weapons, normally ones that work with the users power. You can’t use an ordinary weapon it seems. That has no effect, the shadows just reform after whatever it is you’ve done. So, really only people with powers can fight them.”

Jongin nods. At home, on the island, mostly everyone had some kind of power, the ability to make wind, to levitate objects, the ability to create frost (MInseok, he thinks, might have liked it here), but not everyone could. It wasn’t held against them, or the people who could do things, it was just how it was. It seemed that was the way it worked on other worlds as well.

“There are weapons that can do that?”

Chanyeol laughed and wrapped an arm around Jongin’s shoulder (he felt small, for once, next to him, Chanyeol and Yifan both seemed to tower over him) and he could feel the heat from his skin bleed through the blanket. “I take it you didn’t have to do a lot of fighting where you came from?”

Jongin shook his head. The island was peaceful, the most fighting that happened there was between Sehun and Luhan over who was to wash the dishes, or Minseok and Baekhyun over the right way to make coffee.

“Yeah, there are weapons that do that. If you are going to be moving around a lot, I suggest you get yourself something, there’s a weapon’s seller in the town here, you should be able to find something to suit your tastes. If you know them.”

There isn’t much Jongin can say to that, and he is pretty sure that his face gives him away if the look that Yifan and Chanyeol share is anything to go by. He never did anything more than play swordfights with Baekhyun on the beach while Yixing would yell at them that he wasn’t healing any bruises from the treetops. Fighting with wooden swords probably didn’t count as knowing what your tastes were.

“Um--”

“Don’t worry kid, we can teach you a few things before you go if you would like.”

Relief spreads through Jongin and he gives Yifan a shaky smile. “Yeah, that would be good. Thanks.”

“No problem, now you should probably sleep. You still look a little pale. Yifan and I will be back in a couple hours with some food, then we can teach you some stuff, alright?”

Nodding, Jongin curls back up on the pile of blankets and furs that he woke up on as Chanyeol and Yifan leave. He falls asleep to the sound of the fire and thoughts of sunny beaches and warm waters.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

By the time Jongin leaves Yifan and Chanyeol almost two months later, he’s bruised and has a few new scars but he feels like he might be able to handle the task before him now.

It took only a few days before Jongin was back to being able to teleport himself, and Chanyeol seemed to think that it was the most interesting thing ever (and was even kind enough to not mention how the shadows seemed to gather about him, how they lingered around his form just a bit longer). They eventually found him some weapons, small knives that he could conceal easily that, as he discovered, he could throw and teleport at will when he concentrated.

During this time he also fought for the first time, waist deep in shadows that spilled from a Hallway to nowhere that threatened to consume the small town at the base of the mountain. Jongin was in awe watching Chanyeol and Yifan fight, the former wielding fire like a blade and the latter turning into a creature of myth, a dragon with sharp talons and a roar that shook the hills. Seeing them fight, and fight together (it was clear they both fought to protect each other’s back) made something in his chest ache, but he ignored it and learned, very quickly, that your attention in battle was everything.

He might just miss this place.

“Hey, if you find what you’re looking for, don’t forget to come back and say hi, yeah? We could probably use a few more hands to help with the shadows anyway.” Chanyeol ruffles his hair (because he knows Jongin hates it) and laughs when his fingers end up being tangled in smoke rather than hair.

Even Yifan seems a bit upset to see him go, but he doesn’t say much. Just nods at Jongin and wishes him luck.

The snow and ice disappear behind the swirling shadows as Jongin steps into a hallway. It is, he discovers, a lot easier than teleporting, but he finds himself disoriented by the nothingness that seemed to consume him. He focuses on the crack of light at the other end and walks (at least, he thinks he walks) towards it.

It isn’t long before Jongin is all but falling into someone and mumbling apologies into their shirt.

“Whoa! It’s okay, it’s fine-- wow okay, yeah. Not a shadow. Good. Hi. That was weird. You come from the Hallway there?”

Jongin blinks a few times, adjusting to the dimness of this world in comparison to the bright white snow of before and finds himself facing sharp cheekbones and an amused smile.

“Um, yeah. I just-- came through?”

The grin widens and Cheekbones laughs. “Yeah, I can see that, because you weren’t there a second ago, but thanks for clarifying.”

Shaking his head, Jongin takes a step back, the words stinging a little. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I’ll just--”

“Hey hey! Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you, I just-- Well Joonmyun said I can be careless sometimes.” He smiles at Jongin. “I’m Jongdae, welcome to town.”

“Uh-- thanks?”

The kindness that he kept running into was-- well it wasn’t something that Jongin was expecting that was for sure. He wondered if it had to do with all the other worlds having to deal with the effects of the Hallways for so long. He blinks when he realizes that Jongdae is staring at him, eyes roving all over his face.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Jongin, would you?”

At the sound of his name, Jongin starts. He went by Kai with Chanyeol and Yifan and he had planned to go by Kai here again, but--

“Why do you ask?”

Jongdae shrugs and bends down to pick up a bag that Jongin hadn’t noticed by his feet, slinging it over his shoulder. “You look like the guy that what’s-his-face was describing a week back. What with the hair and the lips and all.”

Now Jongin is sure he should be insulted, but he is mostly curious as to who it was that was going around other worlds looking for him. His first reaction wasn’t a good once, but he doesn’t see Taemin describing his hair or lips. “Who?”

Cheekbones-- Jongdae shrugs. “Doesn’t matter if you’re not him, right?”

Well damn. Jongin huffs and glares a little bit, which causes Jongdae to laugh. “Yeah, I don’t blame you for not wanting to give your name out, but still.” He shrugs again before turning around, motioning to Jongin to follow. “C’mon, any friend of Yixing’s is a friend of ours. You could probably use some lighter clothes, you’re gonna boil in those things here.”

There are a lot of things that Jongin should concentrate on; one that there are people that know his name, two that he should probably follow Jongdae if he doesn’t want to continue boiling in this jacket, but all he can focus on is _Yixing_.

Yixing had been here, he wasn’t in a world consumed by shadows, he was _alive_ and well and--

“Well, are you coming?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Jongin realizes that Cheekbones is half way down the narrow street, looking at him expectantly.

“You said Yixing was here?” Jongdae nods.

“And I will tell you all about it over some tea if you move you ass now. Joonmyun get’s passive aggressive when I’m late.”

Jongin doesn’t need to be told twice, almost tripping himself to catch up (he ignores the laughter from Jongdae and blames the heavy jacket he is wearing).

They walk along narrow streets and Jongdae dodges every question Jongin throws at him about Yixing until they reach an apartment set next to a shop that apparently sold pastries and the world’s best coffee. 

“That’s a lie, if you’re wondering.” Jongdae motions to the sign with his chin, hand busy with a ring of keys. “They have delicious cake, but the coffee tastes like they burnt it. Do not go there. Unless it’s for the cake.”

“Note taken?”

“Everything seems to be a question with you, are you sure you’re Jongin?”

Jongin raises an eyebrow at that and Jongdae laughs, opening the door and motioning for Jongin to go in.

“Nevermind, just go up to the second floor, ignore any crazy looking cats you might see on your way.”

He bites his tongue to keep from asking ‘what’, because really he just wants to know about Yixing. So he makes it to the second floor and he is pretty sure he sees the cat Jongdae was talking about, lurking under the first set of stairs) and waits for Jongdae to catch up to figure out where he was supposed to go.

Only he doesn’t have to because a door opens and a shorter man with a bright smile throws open a door and almost knocks Jongin back down the stairs.

“JONG-- oh, you’re not Jongdae. Who are you?”

“I’m--”

“Wow, Joonmyun, did you try to kill our guest? How nice of you.”

Joonmyun pouts a little as Jongdae comes up the stairs behind Jongin and pushes him into the open door, past Joonmyun.

“I didn’t know he would be right there...”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be using doors as weapons then.”

“I wasn’t--”

“Shh. This is Jongin.”

Whatever response might have been on the tip of Joonmyun’s tongue is gone at that introduction, and he turns, just a little wide eyed, to Jongin.

“Jongin? Like, Yixing’s Jongin?”

Jongin nods, slowly, and tries to edge towards Jongdae (whom he is pretty sure is laughing at him right now).

“Huh, you’re younger than I thought. Yixing made you seem so-- so-- well not young.”

“Old? I think that’s the word you’re looking for maybe.”

Joonmyun turns to scowl at Jongdae who just grins angelically, giving Jongin the perfect opportunity to slip by him and into the kitchen where Jongdae was pulling out the kettle and some mugs. 

“Not old, just-- not so--” He waves his hand at Jongin’s face and stomps into the kitchen after them.

“Whatever you say, Joonmyun. Now go find him something less cumbersome while I make tea. Jongin, take a seat.”

To say that he was a little stunned would be an understatement, so Jongin does as he’s told, dropping into a chair, oversized coat and all, while the other two go about their business.

It takes all of twenty minutes before Jongin is in a new shirt (that is just a bit too small) and has a lighter jacket slung over his shoulder, the winter clothes somewhere in the depths of the apartment, as well as a mug of tea in his hands. He has a lot of questions to ask, but before he can even open his mouth, Jongdae is speaking.

“So, Yixing. You wanted to know about him being here? He said you might be a bit concerned.” He takes a sip of his tea and Jongin wants to strangle him a little bit. “He was looking for you, actually.”

“What? Why--”

Joonmyun laughs. “You vanish from your home into the shadows in front of your best friends and you want to know why he is out looking for you? Are you sure you’re Jongin? Yixing said Jongin was smart...”

Jongdae smacks Joonmyun. “He said usually smart, I got the impression being emotionally attentive wasn’t included.”

“Well that much is obvious.”

Jongin clears his throat. “Um, right here. Thanks.”

The two stop and look at him, Joonmyun looks a bit sheepish but Jongdae just shrugs. “It’s true. He was worried about you, him and Baekhyun both. Apparently after you left a bunch of people showed up on the island from different worlds, brought things with them to help fight the shadows. Apparently Baekhyun’s a natural.”

Jongin snorts at that; that he can believe. Baekhyun always had a temper, one that could almost rival his own, not to mention his ability to wield light made him a perfect candidate to fight the shadows.

“He stayed on the island, to help I guess and Yixing-- well we were his second stop, but he was pretty focused on finding you. And helping out where he could, he is the reason we aren’t overrun with shadows right now, actually.”

That-- well that was surprising to Jongin. And it showed on his face because Joonmyun laughs and wraps his hands around his mug of tea. “I take it Yixing really isn’t a fighter to you, mmm?”

“No. He was-- always quiet. A healer really not...” Jongin shrugs and stares into his tea.

“Yeah, he helped a lot with that power of his, useful thing. But he was incredibly helpful, gave us what we needed the most. Hope.”

Jongin looks up at that, takes in the looks on both Jongdae’s and Joonmyun’s face, and knows that whatever Yixing did here, it was more than Jongin could ever do. It only made him steel his resolve to find Taemin and get rid of the damned shadows once and for all. And when he got back, when he got home--

“Um, Jongin...”

He snaps out of his thoughts, to see Jongdae and Joonmyun looking at them with something like concern in their eyes. They were focused on the tendrils of black shadows that seemed to be curling around his fingers that were wrapped around the mug.

Jongin burns himself on the tea when he startles back, eyes wide and breathing just a little bit panicked.

“That-- what--”

“Whoa, no need to panic, we just were just worried. Yixing said...” Joonmyun trailed off as he got up, hands out in a manner that reminded him of someone trying to calm a startled animal. Then he realized he probably was acting like one.

Inhaling deeply and closing his eyes, Jongin tried to calm himself. When he opened them again, the shadows were gone, but the worried looks were not.

“Um, sorry that-- I’ve never done that before.”

Joonmyun sits down and raises an eyebrow. “Yes you have. Apparently it started happening a lot when you were sleeping after-- well Yixing said you disappeared and came back-- quiet. The shadows came with that.”

The guilt that Jongin had been doing so much to ignore came back tenfold, settling on his shoulders and curling around his spine snugly.

Jongdae picks up on it.

“Hey, you know they don’t blame you right? I mean, you’re not the reason the Hallways opened, or the shadows came out.”

He seems so sincere that Jongin doesn’t quite have the heart to tell him that it is, in fact his fault. He gave Taemin what he needed to open the Hallways faster than he already was. That was why he had to find him and stop this. Stop the shadows and the destruction.

“Jongin?” He looks up to Jongdae and Joonmyun. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. Or need. Okay? The shadows don’t bother us as much anymore, not since Yixing left, so it might be good to gather your strength if you need to.”

Thanks doesn’t seem to quite cut it, especially when he hasn’t done anything (again, Yixing was finding a way to look out for him, to look after him, and it hurts in a way that Jongin is okay with) but he gives them a strained smile nonetheless and makes a promise to himself to be worthy of their kindness someday.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

  
**my heart’s a battleground**

Staying with Joonmyun and Jongdae ends up being entertaining, and useful. Their town seemed to have Hallways to everywhere, and they were easy enough for Jongin to follow in and out, like they were some kind of main hub where things connected. It allowed Jongin to get out, to explore multiple worlds and help a few of them get rid of the shadows in the process.

It also let him know that Yixing was still searching for him, that he was going world to world (much like Jongin himself) with someone named Tao, helping the worlds recover and fight back the darkness that seemed so adamant on swallowing everything whole.

He never hears about Baekhyun though, at least, not about him travelling through the worlds. 

In fact, he doesn’t hear anything about his home, never stumbles across it in his travels and there’s a growing pit of unease in his stomach as he worries about its fate. He wants to think that its still there, somewhere, he just hasn’t gone down the right hallway yet, but--

Well, it’s hard to keep up your hope when you’re surrounded in darkness all the time.

Jongin huffs and opens the door to Jongdae and Joonmyun’s apartment, dropping his knives on the table before sinking into the couch.

“Long week there, Jongin?”

He cracks an eye open at Jongdae, whom he didn’t even see, sitting on the armchair, nose in a book. He looks tired, and Jongin can’t help but think that it’s because of him. He shouldn’t have stayed here as long as he had, the shadows always seemed to find him, wrap their arms around him and try to suffocate whatever world he was in.

“Mmm, something like that.” He closes his eyes again, ignoring the pain that lanced up his spine as he shifted. “I think-- I think I will be leaving soon.”

The soft sound of turning pages stopped suddenly and Jongin knows that Jongdae is staring at him.

“Leaving leaving?”

“Mmm. I should... I need to look for someone.”

There’s a noise of assent at that and Jongin hears Jongdae move in his chair. “I take it you don’t mean Yixing.”

Jongin doesn’t answer, but his silence is enough for Jongdae.

“Jongin I-- listen. Joonmyun and I don’t want to pry, but you’ve been here a while and, well, we are curious. It is clear you know something about the shadows.”

He opens his eyes for that, keeps his face as blank as possible, and looks at Jongdae. To Jongin’s surprise, he doesn’t look accusing, only curious. And it’s that, that simple lack of accusation, that makes Jongin talk. He tells Jongdae about the teleporting, about his appearance on the island at three years old, about the world of shadow and black glass floors and Taemin, the boy with ice in his heart and a point to make. He tells him about those days that he lost, the things that he learned and the things he taught Taemin out of fear and something else. He tells Jongdae about the guilt and the fear that he would never see home again and that he knew it was all his fault.

Jongin tells Jongdae more than he’s told anyone else and it leaves him exhausted afterwards. He doesn’t even hear Jongdae get up and move to sit beside him, arm around his shoulder pulling him close.

“You should tell him when you find him, you know? I’m not-- I’m not good at stuff like this, but Yixing is. We only met him for a while, but he would help you if you told him.” He pulls back and gives Jongin a look. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re kind of an idiot for not telling him about Taemin in the first place.”

The noise that Jongin makes is caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob because he _knows_ , really he does. Jongdae pulls him a little closer.

“Leave in the morning, sleep tonight, and actually sleep okay. Joonmyun and I will see you off in the morning.”

Jongin still doesn’t quite know how to say thank you, doesn’t know how to express his gratitude for everything they have done, but he knows that, when this is all over, he will feel like he might have done enough.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

Taemin is a lot harder to find that Jongin thought he would be. Despite there being shadows everywhere, not one of the Hallways seems to lead to that place of darkness that Jongin appeared in so long ago (he has lost track of time, slipping in between worlds and Hallways, places and people blending together between shadows).

In his travels, Jongin stumbles across one too many desolate worlds, where there’s nothing left but ruined buildings and shadows lurking everywhere, it makes him wonder (and fear) for the few friends that he has made on the way. But he never goes back, no matter how many times he is reminded of Chanyeol’s bright laugh or Jongdae’s snide remarks, he keeps pushing forward. He gets better with his blades, learns to reign in the shadows that he calls forth in his anger and forgets the taste of salt water on his skin.

There are a few times, along the way, that he gets brief glimpses of Yixing. The way townspeople or villagers speak of a healer who chased the shadows away (shadows that Jongin always seems to bring back), a certain way people smile when they hear the name ‘Jongin’ (not that he uses that name much anymore, he isn’t sure he wants Yixing to find him, not yet) or the echo of a laugh in his ears as he wakes up.

Sometimes he really misses home.

Sometimes he wonders if he has a home left.

It’s these thoughts that accompany him through the Hallways (through the occasional teleportation, but he doesn’t do that often. The shadows are always darker when he does), through the worlds that he slinks through in shadow. He fights what he can, but looks for Taemin more because the more he sees the more he knows the damage he has done.

The damage they have both done.

The way Jongin sees it, it doesn’t matter what he does (or anybody else for that matter), there is always going to be darkness and shadows and, as long as the Hallways lead out of that place where he found Taemin, the shadows would never be defeated. So that was what he had to do. He had to find that place, because there had to be a Hallway to it somewhere, and find a way to close it. 

He didn’t want to think about how he was going to do that.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

It doesn’t take Jongin long (a couple months, maybe a year, he isn’t sure) to get used to being alone. He stops seeking out people to stay with, for something familiar to come back to, and gets used to cold floors and colder looks. Gets used to the darkness (because that seems to be everywhere these days, at least to him) and the nothingness of the Hallways.

Jongin catches himself wondering if he should ever go home. Even after he has fixed his mess, was he really worthy of that happiness in that place? He had seen what he had done now, what he helped Taemin do.

The darkness was winning.

He still caught snippets of conversation, hushed voices in market squares, about Yixing, about the hope and courage he spreads. It warms Jongin a little bit, but--

The noise of his chair pushing back quiets whatever conversation he was trying to listen to, but he doesn’t care. he is tired and sore and thinks he should be moving on because this world was better now. He had chased away the remaining shadows (the ones that Yixing didn’t manages to catch, though he still didn’t know how Yixing did what he did), and it was time for him to move again.

Nodding his head at the waitress, Jongin slips out of the cafe and into the streets. It doesn’t take him long to find another Hallway to disappear into, and he tries not to think about how the nothingness of this place was now comforting.

“You know, you don’t get to be melancholy, _Kai_. You are the one that made this so easy.”

Jongin doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t falter in his step, just throws the knives between his fingers towards the voice that haunts his darker dreams.

“...Taemin.”

He turns to see Taemin holding one of his knives between his fingers, amused look on his face as shadows wrap around his fingers.

“Interesting, you learned to use shadows against themselves. That is a feat indeed.” He drops the blade without much thought, but no noise reaches Jongin’s ears.

That was what it was like in these places, the Hallways, nothing seemed to make noise against the floor that he knew had to be there, despite his inability to really describe it. It was strange and foreign and no one should feel at home here, but of course Taemin looked like he was in his element, smile on his face and shadows at his back.

Jongin nearly snarls. “Where the fuck have you _been_.”

It’s not really a question, but that doesn’t phase him at all. Taemin hums and, far too quickly for Jongin’s liking, is next to him, fingers curled under his chin, just like he did the first time they met. “Oh, you know, here and there. Trying to take care of this _problem_ I’ve been having. You see, _someone_ has figured out how to close the Hallways. So, of course, I need to find them and stop that nonsense.”

The grip on his shifts, turns painful, nails digging into Jongin’s jaw, but he can’t seem to move.

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you Jongin? About this boy, this _Yixing_ that can heal the tears in worlds?”

And suddenly how Yixing was doing so much makes sense, and Jongin wants to laugh at how stupid he is for not realizing it sooner. But he can’t because he can’t let Taemin know any more about Yixing than he already does.

So Jongin laughs, it’s a choked noise around the pain, but he laughs anyway.

“You think I would know? I’ve spent the last however long looking for you, not dealing with the mess you made.”

Taemin releases him, and Jongin hits the floor. It hurts, and that surprises him, but he just grunts and tries to pull another knife free without drawing too much attention to himself.

“You mean your mess. This isn’t mine.” Taemin cocks his head to the side, and shrugs. “Well perhaps a little bit. But I would rather think of it as cleaning up. Things are a lot better in the dark, you know.”

Jongin snorts in reply and moves, he’s up and moving the knife to Taemin’s throat faster than most, but not fast enough. He’s met with more shadows, solid and swirling before him, and Taemin’s mocking laugh.

“Ah ah ah, that’s not very nice. And killing me won’t solve anything, you know. Darkness is going to be around even if I’m not.” He wraps cold fingers around Jongin’s wrist and, with a strength Jongin is still surprised he possess, moves Jongin’s hand. “And, besides, you’re going to keep going around, tearing holes in things and leaking shadows all over the place no matter what trying to get home. So. Might as well keep me around so that you have someone to blame, right? Unless you want to be the villain in all this.”

The look on Taemin’s face is positively gleeful, and Jongin is distracted enough to not see the shadows coming until they are knocking the breath from his lungs and sending him across the nothingness.

“My my, you would think you would pay attention. You know you aren’t the hero here, Jongin. You’re the villain, you might as well accept it. Even Yixing wouldn’t want to forgive you if he knew this was your fault, don’t kid yourself.”

Despite the lack of breath in his lungs, Jongin still manages to make an angry noise at that. He should have known that Taemin knew about Yixing. But, as much as he doesn’t want to, he thinks that maybe Taemin is right.

“Think of all those worlds that are nothing but darkness and shadow now, all thanks to you and your little trick. You’ve ruined a lot of lives, and I don’t think that’s a thing a hero does. But, what would I know, mmm? Enjoy the show.”

He has finally struggled back to his feet when Taemin vanishes.

The nothingness of the Hallways swallows up Jongin’s screams of rage.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

“...Jongin?”

It’s months after his encounter with Taemin, months of him taking out his rage on shadows and, unfortunately, a few innocent passersbys, and he’s gotten a little reckless. He still sticks to the shadows, still hunts for the world of darkness, but it’s almost as if he’s given up the hope of it ever truly being _over_. 

Jongin, it seems, has given up hope in general.

So of course he would finally run into the one person that had been searching for him all this time. Of course _now_ , when there was no light at the end of the tunnel for him, or for any world really, would Yixing finally find him.

There is a heartbeat where Jongin doesn’t move, doesn’t turn around and hopes that maybe his freezing will be taken as a reaction to the pouring rain. Maybe he can pretend he didn’t hear him over the downpour. Maybe--

“Jongin!”

Making a decision takes too long, and before Jongin can vanish into the darkness, Yixing is there, smiles and dimples and _happiness_ so bright Jongin has to look away.

“I knew it was you! I knew I would find you eventually!” He grips Jongin’s shoulders, doesn’t wait for a reply before he is pulling Jongin into a hug that has Jongin breathing a shaky sigh of relief without his own consent. “I missed you, you idiot.”

Without really thinking, Jongin winds his arms around Yixing and drops his forehead to his shoulder, huffing a broken laugh into the soaked fabric of his shirt. “Yeah, I know.”

Yixing pulled back and gave Jongin a lopsided smile. “What, you know that I missed you or that you’re an idiot?”

“The latter, really.”

There is no reply, instead Yixing really looks at him and Jongin fights the urge to squirm. He was never any good at hiding things from Yixing, especially when he gave him _that_ look, the one that said ‘I know what you’re thinking, stop it’. Yixing mastered it when they were children and has used it as his secret weapon ever since.

“Where have you been, Jongin.”

It’s not really a question, and the tone implies that Yixing knows but he fears being right. 

Jongin almost breaks down right then and there.

“I’ve been-- around.” He steps back, out of the warmth of Yixing’s arms. “Yeah, around. I just-- There was the--”

“...shut up. I don’t want to hear whatever sob story you’ve cooked up to blame yourself for this mess, just--” Yixing pauses then, maybe because of the look on Jongin’s face. Yixing was never quite so blunt before.

“Did you just tell me to shut up?”

He almost looks sheepish but that changes quickly to something like amusement. “Yeah. Finally. I should have told you years ago, before this stupid thing became a problem and you ran away to clean up a mess that was never yours in the first place.”

Jongin opens his mouth to protest, but Yixing moves fast, hand covering his mouth and a stern look in his eye. Jongin finds it hard to protest against that.

“Not. Your. Mess. Jongin. Don’t make me have you repeat it after me. You might have helped spread the mess, but you sure as hell didn’t make it.”

“... how much do you know.”

The healer shrugs, stuffs his hands in his pockets and hums. “I went back and saw Jongdae a couple of months after you left there. He had quite the story to tell me and, if I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

It’s the tone of his voice that has Jongin looking down, slipping back into the shadows that Yixing almost brought him out of, the guilt and memories of all the worlds he helped destroy flooding his mind.

“Stop that. Oh my-- Jongin!” Yixing hands are warm on his shoulder, but his fingers dig in painfully, but he doesn’t let go, not even when Jonign tries to pull away. “I told you-- you really are an idiot, aren’t you? This isn’t your fault. It’s Taemin’s. No one elses.”

“You know that’s not true, Yixing. I was the one that showed him how to open Hallways easily. It was--”

“Will you shut up. I swear you’ve gotten dumber since you left the island.”

That makes Jongin snap his mouth closed. Yixing nods his agreement.

“Better, much better.” He cocks his head and crosses his arms, it’s then that Jongin notices the staff strapped across his back. He eyes it questioningly, but Yixing ignores him and continues with whatever it was he was going to say. “I found Baekhyun. And the island again. Well, kind of. It was in this weird limbo state. I assume you tried to go home at least once but-- well it’s fine now. Baek has this sword made of light and, well, the shadows don’t go there anymore.”

There is an amused smile on his face as he says that, and Jongin can’t really help the snort that slips out. Yeah, he wouldn’t mess with Baekhyun and a sword either.

“And I figured out how to close the Hallways up. So there’s that I just-- Have to find the first one. Then we can all go home.”

“Yixing...”

 

“I said shut up, Jongin.” He levels Jongin with a look that he has never quite seen on the serene boy’s face before. It makes Jongin wonder just how much he has missed. “We will find it, yes, _we_ , and we will close it. And then we are going home. You and me and we’ll see Baekhyun and you are not arguing with me.”

That doesn’t stop Jongin from opening his mouth, another protest ready. But Yixing’s next words stop him.

“Please Jongin. I want-- I want to be happy and I want to go home and in order to have have the former, you need to come with me. Okay?”

All Jongin can do is nod dumbly.

It makes Yixing’s dimples appear, and Jongin’s heart does something funny.

“Good. I’m glad. Now let’s go finish this together, okay?”

Jongin wonders how he ever managed being alone for so long, because Yixing’s warmth at his side seemed like it was part of him. He doesn’t know how he functioned without it.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

It doesn’t take them much longer to find Taemin. Maybe Jongin was searching harder now that he had Yixing by his side, or maybe Taemin was looking for Yixing.

Either way, they find him where it all began.

It’s one random, barely visible Hallway, just around the corner from Jongdae’s apartment (Jongdae who, upon seeing Yixing and Jongin together, made a noise that Jongin is sure could shatter glass) that lead them to the world of shadows. 

Yixing shivered when they stepped onto the smooth floors.

“Wow. This place is creepy. I kinda get why you didn’t tell us about it.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything, trying to stay alert because he knows that Taemin is here. He has to be, there is no way that he would leave this place unprotected. Well, unprotected beyond the shadows that swarmed about, but something kept them at bay, and Jongin was sure that it wasn’t his blades or Yixing’s staff.

“...be alert. He’s up to something.”

Yixing nods, fingers tightening around the staff in his hand as they walk along the floor. It seems as if they aren’t moving, the shadows just swirling around them constantly, suffocating and _there_. Jongin really wishes he never had to come back here.

Jongin feels rather than sees the shift, and he’s moving without a thought and putting himself between Yixing and the blade - one of his own blades, the one that Taemin took in that Hallway-- that was laced with shadows and it _hurts_. Jongin can feel the shadows sliding under his skin, curling in his veins like a poison (one that he is used to, thankfully, so it doesn’t burn quite as much) and the blood warm and sticky along the bottom of his ribs.

He thinks he should get points for not dropping gracelessly to the floor, but rather stays standing, just in case, in front of Yixing.

“Jongin! What the hell ar--”

The sound of slow clapping cuts Yixing off, and Jongin tears his eyes away from the concerned look on his friends face to the slowly emerging figure of Taemin from the darkness.

“Impressive. But that still doesn’t make you a hero, I hope you know that.”

The grin he gives Jongin is wicked, and Jongin responds with a snarl, hand wrapped around his chest as he tried to breath.

“Jongin don’t... don’t listen to him. Just let me-- my god, you idiot.”

The last part is exasperated as Jongin refuses to listen and launches himself at Taemin. And, though Yixing certainly doesn’t agree (he can see the dark drops of red on the floor) he knows what Jongin is doing.

Jongin is buying him time.

And it looks like Taemin is falling for it if the delighted laughter and consequent struggle is anything to go by. Yixing figures that Jongin probably needs this too, injured or not, because there are somethings that he can’t heal, and the damage done by guilt and Taemin’s poison words were some of them.

So with the sound of the fight ringing in his ears, Yixing looks for what they came for. It takes him longer than he wants to find it, the tear in the darkness, because Yixing isn’t entirely sure what he is looking for, isn’t sure how to spot darkness in all this black, but apparently it can get darker.

Just as Yixing is about to seal the crack, he hears Jongin give a pained noise. He makes the mistake of turning around to see Taemin, not unscathed himself, standing over Jongin who was on his hands and knees. It didn’t look like he was getting up anytime soon, Yixing could tell from here.

“Well, I guess you get points for trying. But it looks like your guilt is too heavy a burden to bear, mmm? I would be truly villainous and let you live long enough to watch me let the shadows rip your friend here apart, but I’m also not stupid. I know what you’re capable of.”

There isn’t enough time for Yixing to move from where he is to where Jongin is, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Even as he watches the arc of the blade, Yixing knows he is too slow.

The sound of the blade hitting the smooth floor rings in Yixing’s ears like a victory bell.

“I guess...” Jongin coughs, lips smeared with blood as he appears behind Taemin. “I guess you forgot about this trick.”

Jongin has the knife buried in the swirling shadows before he finishes talking, and Yixing doesn’t wait to see what happens next. He turns back to the tear and does what he has to in order to close it.

WHen he turns back, Taemin is no where to be found and Jongin is crumpled on the floor, chest heaving with every breath.

“Did you-- did you close it?”

Yixing laughs softly, fingers pressing over Jongin’s wounds lightly. “Of course I did. Now stop talking, I have work to do.”

“Yixing-- Yixing, I’m sorry, okay?”

Yixing stops for a moment and looks at Jongin, that smile that Jongin loved so much tugging at his lips. “Sorry for what? Bleeding on my shirt? Because you don’t have to be. Now hush, I want to go home.”

For the first time in a long time, Jongin actually feels happy when he laughs.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

Jongin shakes the water from his eyes, clear eyes blinking up at a familiar blue sky and bright sun. He feels the smile stretch slowly across his face (like the muscles didn’t quite remember how to do it anymore, didn’t know anything other than smirks and scowls, and yet—) as the warmth of a sun he could never forget sank into his skin.

At the sound of splashing and stumbling, Jongin turns himself around, smile still on his face as he takes in a soaked Baekhyun running into the water. “Jongin! You fucking—“

The rest is lost in the strangled sobbing laughter and sounds of splashing as Jongin finds himself tackled back into the waves, wiry arms tight around his neck. He huffs a laugh and curls his fingers around the base of Baekhyun’s neck, eyes closing for a moment.

“…we’re— we’re back.”

He feels more than hears the sharp inhale against his collarbone, Baekhyun’s head snapping up, just barely missing his nose in the process, to scan the water behind them.

“You mean—“

“Yeah, he found me.”

As if on cue, Yixing wades into view, smile plastered on his face as he regards the two of them sprawled in the water. “You’re not trying to drown him, are you Baek? It took me forever to find him. And even longer to convince him to come home.”

The serene smile doesn’t move, not even when a cursing Baekhyun hurls himself at Yixing and sends them both crashing back into the water. 

Jongin can’t tear his eyes away and can’t stop the way the smile on his face stretches until it almost hurts.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get over here you idiot.”

Baekhyun is _shining_ , the light almost blinding, but it doesn’t stop Jongin from moving towards them, eyes fixed on that radiant light and the acceptance he can see curled in the corners of Yixing’s mouth. 

When he reaches them, he doesn’t fight being pulled to his knees, warm water flowing around his hips, just falls into their embrace and lets himself relax for the first time in years.

Yixing’s lips brush the shell of his ear, smile in his voice as he presses his forehead to Jongin’s temple. “You had enough adventure now?”

He responds with a wet laugh, arm squeezing Baekhyun’s waist as he nods and turns just enough to catch Yixing’s eye and smiles.

“Yeah, I have.” He looks at Baekhyun, all red eyes and mussed hair then back to Yixing and knows he won’t take this for granted again. “I found what I was looking for.”

“You shouldn’t have had to look for anything, you idiot. We were here the whole fucking time.”

Yixing laughs and runs a hand through Baekhyun’s wet hair before pulling him close. “Don’t blame him, he was never the brightest, remember?”

“Hey!” He tries for indignant, but the smile still hasn’t left Jongin’s face so it doesn’t quite work out. “I will have you— agh!”

Spitting out a mouthful of salt water, Jongin finds himself on his ass in the ocean with a laughing Baekhyun and Yixing trying their hardest to drown him. Well, perhaps not their hardest. He sputters and laughs before vanishing in a hiss of displaced water and appearing behind them, shocked and terrified looks crossing their face before he whistles and throws himself at them.

The three of them go down in a tangle of flailing limbs and laughter and Jongin can’t help but think that this, this was his adventure all along.

**Author's Note:**

> W E L P.
> 
> I wrote this like... a year ago? I don't even know, but I AM PUTTING IT HERE NOW. HA. BECAUSE I CAN. So, um, thanks for reading?


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